11/18/2023 0 Comments Im not your friend pal family guy![]() ![]() That way, you can remember what you talked about the week before and bring it up again. “You have to see people over and over again, specifically weekly. “A lot of time we think we’re going to join a meetup group and then we go and don’t find our new best friend, we quit,” Bayard said. You have to see people over and over again, specifically weekly. ![]() “How was your day?” “Good, you?” While many conversations ended there, it helped me ease into the art of making small talk with people around me. The first day of the challenge, I found myself having two conversations with people in line for lunch or in my shared ride home. But I decided that whenever I was out of my office, I would put the phone away, make eye contact with people and force myself to speak to them, even when I felt nervous. Living in New York City, people usually avoid eye contact and conversation with strangers. “Also, you see the same people every day (the barista at your coffee shop, etc.) and if you say hello every day or have a mini conversation, that’s a breeding ground for a relationship.” “When you’re on-the-go, in line, or at the register and you’re on the phone, there’s a lot of missed connection happening,” Bayard said. When you’re on-the-go, in line, or at the register and you’re on the phone, there’s a lot of missed connection happening. I was happy about that because the idea of going to public places and making myself speak to strangers wasn’t something I was initially ready for. The first challenge my friendship coach gave me didn’t require me to leave the house. Challenge #1: Tap into your friends of friends network Here’s what happened when I went out into the world with a game plan to meet new people and create long lasting relationships. I wrote each challenge down and devoted at least one week to following through on them. I felt ready to hear what Bayard had in store for me and was happy to know that there were only three challenges she wanted me to tackle over the next month to help me make friends. That’s why making friends at parties can be extra tough and networking events have me clinging to my phone. While people who know me would label me an extrovert, I silently deal with constant social anxiety, to the point where sometimes I end up in the bathroom having full blown panic attacks. Those with social anxiety struggle because they are in their head and second guess themselves.” “ Introverts struggle because their energy comes from being alone. “Extroverts struggle to make friends because while they seem talkative, they might not go deep with people,” said Bayard. “We are more connected than ever on our devices or social media, but finding someone in real life to connect with can be a challenge.”īayard and I talked also about how those with different personalities can have their own unique set of struggles when it comes to making friends. “With many people’s lives running at full speed and in different directions, it’s hard to slow down long enough to find and develop new friendships,” says Pennison. Instead, I spent a lot of my free time alone, sulking about the fact that I didn’t have someone to call a best friend and I didn’t have a guest list big enough to reserve more than a table for two on my birthday.Ĭhristy Pennison, a licensed professional counselor and owner of Be Inspired Counseling & Consulting, says that making friends, particularly in this day and age, isn’t easy. I could have shown more interest in my friends and their growing families rather than in finding someone to date. I forgot to respond to text messages for days. I often cancelled plans on the weekends to do work. I didn’t feel like I'd invested time in nurturing friendships. I felt sad and lonely as I entered my thirties and I placed a lot of the blame on myself. Then, as a complete shock, my best friend of seven years abruptly told me that she no longer wanted to be friends anymore. I got laid-off from my full time job and started working for myself, out of my apartment, with no water cooler chit chat or happy hours to attend. Some of my friends moved states away and our conversations grew stale and we rarely saw each other. A lot of my friends got married and had kids while I was still on the first-date trail. ![]()
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